The Art Of Loving.

Erich Fromm’s profound idea of love in his book, The Art of Loving, influences me a lot. Love, according to him, is a process. It is also an art. It is the most fundamental passion, force which keeps the human race together. Failure to achieve love means insanity, destruction. And that without love, humanity could not exist for a day.

Here are some of his philosophical thoughts:

“Love is an activity, not a passive effect; it is ‘standing in,’ not a ‘falling for.’ It is giving, not receiving.”

“Love is the union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity. Love is an active power in man…separate him from his fellow men, which unites him with others; makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity.”

"Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence. Only in this 'central experience' is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis of love. Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; eve whether there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves. There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which love is recognized."

“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling--- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever.”

Mike Mason’s The Mystery of Marriage

“Real love is always fated. It has been arranged before time. It is most meticulously prepared of coincidences. And fate, of course, is simply a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace.”