Kung papipiliin ka...

Kung papipiliin ka, ano’ng pipiliin mo? Ang maging makasarili, o ang makitang ang kaligayahan mo ay hawak na ng iba? Kung hindi ka talagang makasarili, mahirap ngang pumili. Malamang ayaw mong makasakit ng iba; mas pipiliin mong masaktan ka kaysa iba ang masasaktan; mas pipiliin mo ang kapakanan ng iba bago ang sarili mong interes. Ngunit kung ikaw ang taong sadyang makasarili, malamang sa malamang, ayaw mong nauunahan ka ng iba. Ayaw mong nasasapawan ka ng iba. Ayaw mong Makita na nasa iba na ang pinanghahawakan mong kaligayahan. Ayaw mong nasasaktan. Makasakit ka na ng iba, huwag lang ang sagrado mong sarili.

Kung papipiliin kita, saan ka pupunta? Sa nakaraang nagdulot ng pait, lungkot at ligaya, o sa kasalukuyan sa dapat mong pahalagahan at paglaanan ng pansin sapagkat ito ang mundo mo ngayon? Mahirap pumili lalo pa’t kung pareho itong may dulot ng iyong kaligayahan.

Kung babalikan mo ang nakaraan, marami kang mararamdaman—mga emosyong nakakabit sa mga bagay na nangyari sa buhay mo, sa mga taong dumaan sa buhay mo. Kung babalikan mo ang nakaraan, huwag mong hayaang makulong ka dito. Alalahaning tapos na ito at hindi na maibabalik pa. Kung sakali mang ibabalik mo pa at pilit na iwawaksi ng iyong damdamin ang bagay na tapos na, siguraduhing walang matatamaan, walang masasaktan sa iyong kasalukuyan.

Walang masama sa pag-alala ng nakaraan lalo na kung ito ang pinanghuhugutan mo ng ilang emosyon na pagbabasehan mo ng kasalukuyan. Ang masama lang ay kung ang pag-alala nito ay magbigay hudyat nang kagustuhang umpisahang muli ang mga bagay na tinapos na. Wala ring masama kung uumpisahan mong muli ang mga bagay na tapos na. Sabi nga nila, lahat ng bagay ay may karapatang bigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon. Ngunit kung ang pangalawang pagkakataong ito ay magdudulot ng sakit sa kasalukuyan, huwag mo nang balakin pa. Huwag kang maging makasarili. Tanggapin mo na ang nakaraan. Iwan mo na ito at hayaang magsilbing aral. Sa pag-iwan sa nakaraan, hindi ka magiging mahina. Bagkus, tutulungan ka pa nitong maging malakas, matatag at magkaroon ng bukas na isipan sa pag harap sa kasalukuyan.

Kung ang bibigyang-pansin at pahahalagahan mo naman ay ang kasalukuyan, paniindigan mo ito. Hindi mo magagawa ang mga bagay na gusto mo kung wala kang pakialam sa iyong kasalukuyan. Ito ang mundong ginagalawan mo ngayon. Huwag mong hayaang tumigil; huwag mong tangkaing itigil. Dahil pag ginawa mo, maraming bagay ang posibleng mawala sayo. Marahil hindi biglaang mawawala, kundi unti-unting mawawala, unti-unting lilisan ng hindi mo namamalayan. Tipong mararamdaman mo kung gaano kasakit ang paglisan ng mga ito, kung gaano kasakit ang mag-isa sa panahong kailangan mo ng iba, at kung gaano kasakit ang makitang wala na ang pinanghahawakan mong kaligayahan dahil ito ay nasa kamay na ng iba.

Masayang mabuhay sa kasalukuyan. Marami kang matutuklasang bagay hindi lamang sa sarili mo kundi sa mundo na rin mismo. Maraming pagsubok. Maaari kang sumaya ng lubusan ngunit maaari ka ring masaktan ng hindi inaasahan. Sa mga pagsubok na ito, marami kang matututunan—ang maging matapang sa pagharap ng mga ito, ang maging matatag sa paglulutas nito, at maging mapagtanggap sa kung ano man ang kahihinatnan nito. Tutulungan ka pang maging mas matibay sa pagharap samga darating pang pagsubok.

Sumabay ka lang sa daloy ng kasalukuyan. Walang mawawala sayo. Paganahin mo lang ang iyong isipan. Pahalagahan mo lang ang iyong pinaninindigan at panindigan mo ang iyong pinahahalagahan. Tanggapin mo ang mga dumarating—bagay, tao, pagsubok. Hindi maiiwasang may bago. Maging rasyonal ka lang sa gagawing desisyon at sa pagtanggap. Huwag pabugso-bugso. Hawak mo ang iyong oras ngunit hindi mo ito kontrolado. O maaaring hindi mo man hawak ang iyong oras, ngunit ikaw ang kumukontrol dito, bawat segundo, bawat minuto.

© 240708

1:45 pm

UP Baguio Library

jcmja™_

i am normal.

I am normal.

Thanks to SC185. It made me realize that my all-I-know-is-that-I’m-abnormal feeling is normal. I do not easily respond to the words other people give me. It takes time for me to process these words. I have to be this way because I don’t want to hurt others by impulsively saying the thoughts in my head. Since communication is irreversible, it is difficult just to throw out the words from your mouth without analyzing and selecting them. I also have to choose proper expressions and proper prosody. These are the reasons why I get on other people’s nerves. They think I’m slow. I’m not. I just want to be cautious of what others might feel regarding the things I will say.

to someone...

I really don’t know what’s going on with me. I think I’ve been going crazy. Or maybe I’m just turning green. Or maybe just stupid or weak. I’ve been living in the present but someone has been living in his past that’s why I find this present hard to deal with. Past is past; you can never take it back unless you want to live in it, to bring it to your present. But what the heck? What’s the point of considering the past if you are totally aware of you’re here-and-now? If you are really happy with what and whom you are with in your present? This is why sometimes I feel that life sucks and it fucks us all. Some people do not play fair. I mean, it’s all about fairness. Be fair with someone whom you are with in the present. Never dare to pursue your present if you were just triggered by some emotions in the past. Live in the present. Live the present with your present. Move on with your present life; let go of the past and learn from it.

I know you are not a past-oriented person. You always tell me to be aware of here-and-now. Well, this is my here-and-now. You are my here-and-now. We are our here-and-now. Now, please stand by your words. Please deal with it. I wouldn’t be living with this here-and-now thing if it were not because of you; if you never told me to do so.

i become an optimist.

* I was in the mood to be positive despite all the negative thoughts I have. Too many things are dashing in my mind. Too many words to tell. Too much tears to fall. But it only takes pieces of paper and a pen to write everything you feel to cover the heart’s hole.

In 18 years of living, I can’t deny that I lived with pain, hatred and frustrations. I never saw life as a positive experience. I treated it as ill-fated. I had my own wu wei.

Entering my 19^th year in this complicated world, I recognized so many things. I realized so many things as well. I never was an optimist. I was a pessimist. I never had the guts to care. I was apathetic. I, in no way valued significant things. I never expected that that was the kind of life I had lived with. I mean, that was stupid. Who would live like that? Yeah, I did but hell no now! Life is wonderful. It is beautiful. Life is such a great experience. Some may say it’s ridiculous. I can’t totally blame them. Everything in this world is relative. We have different views. We have diverse ways of facing life itself. How to handle it depends on the needs to be satisfied, dreams to be fulfilled, and goals to be attained. I may have written contradicting statements before that life sucks and it fools us. Yes, it sometimes does. One’s view of life is dependent on what one feels at a particular moment. But come on! Look into the brighter side. Life is a process—an exciting process. Nothing will be taken against us if we live as optimists.

Paradoxes of Our Time

The paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, bur narrower view points.

We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more medicine, but less wellness.

We have more experts, yet more problems.

We drink too much, spend too recklessly, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, watch TV too much, stay up too late and get too tired... while we smile too little, laugh too little, hug too little, read too little, and pray too little.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much and listen too little.

We love too seldom, and hate more often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We have more food, but less appeasement.

We build more computers to hold more information that we print on more paper than ever before. But we communicate less and connect less.

We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestions, tall men, and short character, steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but not domestic warfare, more leisure, but less fun, more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce, of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers and throw away morality.

We have pills to grow hair, pills to stop allergies, pills to lose weight and pills to help sex. And we have parents who wonder why their children pop pills.

We have health Maintenance Organizations that don't help the healthy maintain their health but tell the sickly what doctors they can't see.

It is time when there is more in the show window and less in the stockroom.

Now, it is a time for us to realize our guilt?

facts.about.moi.

i LOVE:
bitching around. haha!
ice cream.
pink.
violet.
silver stuff.
sponge cola.
hale.
bloomfields.
radiohead.
SWITCHFOOT.
FALL OUT BOY.
incubus.
ONE TREE HILL. grabe.
chad.chad.chad.
walking.
nature gazing.
SLEEPING!
making non sense things. haha!

i HATE:
posers. haha.
slacker! (ako ba yun?)
pinhead. as in stupid people like ____. haha! (fill in the blank na lang!)
someone who boasts around pero wala naman talagang ipagmamalaki! damn.
someone who hates me--- i pity you.

The Art Of Loving.

Erich Fromm’s profound idea of love in his book, The Art of Loving, influences me a lot. Love, according to him, is a process. It is also an art. It is the most fundamental passion, force which keeps the human race together. Failure to achieve love means insanity, destruction. And that without love, humanity could not exist for a day.

Here are some of his philosophical thoughts:

“Love is an activity, not a passive effect; it is ‘standing in,’ not a ‘falling for.’ It is giving, not receiving.”

“Love is the union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity. Love is an active power in man…separate him from his fellow men, which unites him with others; makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity.”

"Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence. Only in this 'central experience' is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis of love. Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; eve whether there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves. There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which love is recognized."

“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling--- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever.”

Mike Mason’s The Mystery of Marriage

“Real love is always fated. It has been arranged before time. It is most meticulously prepared of coincidences. And fate, of course, is simply a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace.”

1984.

Insights from George Orwell’s 1984

“To the future or to the past, to a time when thought is free, when men are different from one another and do not live alone – to a time when truth exists and what is done cannot be undone… - greetings!”

“Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime is death.”

“Who controls the past, controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.”

“Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious.”

“Under the spreading chestnut tree, I sold you and you sold me…”

“War is peace; Freedom is slavery; Ignorance is strength.”

“The past not only changed, but changed continuously.”

“I understand HOW: I do not understand WHY.”

“Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.”

“Double think means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.”

“Men were dying because they would not abandon their true beliefs.”

“Even in the instant of death we cannot permit any deviation.”

“Do not imagine that you will save yourself… Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling. Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty, and then we shall fill you with ourselves.”

“Only the disciplined mind can see reality.”

“…reality is not a external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes.”

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of those ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government.”

this is me.

I love:

[MUSIC PEOPLE]. Sponge Cola. Hale. Switchfoot. Incubus. Gavin DeGraw. The Click Five. Fall Out Boy. Maroon 5 (Adam!). Jesse McCartney. Colbie Caillat. Jason Mraz. Chris Brown. Ne-yo. Silent Sanctuary. Usher. MYMP. Christian Bautista. Barbie Almalbis. Avril Lavigne. Nora Jones.

[SONGS]. I Don’t Wanna Be. When the Stars Go Blue. Learning to Breath. With You. Can You Help Me. Iris. Empty. Just the Girl. Realize. Could I Be (voce). I’m Yours. As Long as It Matters. First Cut is the Deepest. My Happy Ending. Hate That I Love You. Sugar We’re Going Down. She Will Be Loved. I’ll Never Go. Myself In You. Harapin. Movie. Leave Out All the Rest. Need to be Next. I Do (Cherish You). Story of A Girl. Collide. Wish You were Here. I Miss You (incubus). Sway. How to Save a Life.

[COLORS]. Green. Red. Pink. Plum. Violet.

[FOOD/DRINKS]. Chocolates. Coffee. White Chocolate Mocha. Pizza. Pesto pasta! Garlic bread. Mr. Chips. Margarita. Tea. Lettuce. Broccoli. Sinigang. Nilagang Baka. Binagoongan (my dad’s recipe). Nerds. Mango. Strawberry. Strawberry milkshake. Avocado. Mangosteen. Lychee. Caramel frappe. Rice wine. Suman. Latik. Chicken Adobo. Tuna. Fried Sardines. Chicken Terriyaki. Beef Steak. Jelly Sticks. Cheese Sticks. Tropicana Twister. Green Bell Pepper. Isaw. Barbecue. Corn Flakes.

[MOVIES]. 50 First Dates. Rainbow Song. Magnifico. Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros. Ilusyon. A Very Long Engagement. Yours, Mine and Ours. Imahe Nasyon. Wishing Stairs. Tale of Two Sisters. Shutter.

[TV SERIES/SHOWS]. That’s So Raven. One Tree Hill. Pimp My Ride. Miami Ink. America’s Next Top Model. Project Runway.

[BOOKS/MAGAZINES]. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Boy Meets Girl (Joshua Harris). Romeo and Juliet. Julius Caesar (William Shakespeare). Bob Ong books. Kikomachine 1-4. Can You Keep A Secret (Sophie Kinsella). The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho). A Long Road Home (Danielle Steel). The Purpose-Driven Life (Rick Warren). Seventeen. Allure. Cosmopolitan. Cosmo girl. Elle. Chalk. Vogue. Preview.

What I Hate:

I hate pork. I hate Ampalaya [I really don’t like its taste.].

I hate people who pretend too much; those who project fake self.

I hate narcissistic bitches; those who really don’t care if they hurt others, those who All-I-Want-Is-Fame-And-Attention-And-Power people. Ditch them!

I hate parasites. They are just beside you to get benefits from you. In short, he/she is friends with benefits with you but you don’t get any benefits in return.

I hate me for not expressing myself out loud.

I hate me for not practicing self-disclosure.

I hate me for not being so verbal about what and how I feel.

I hate how I pity those who are not supposed to be forgiven at all.

I hate me for giving back my trust to someone who doesn’t even deserve to be trusted again.

I hate me for giving second chances, which means hurting myself again.

I hate me for doing one task and will not finish it at that moment.

I hate me for being so self-dependent. “As long as I can do it, I don’t need your help. As long as I can manage myself, I don’t need you.” This is what I usually do and I hate me for this. I just don’t want to be labeled as weak and pathetic.

I hate me for still loving those who betrayed me, those friends whom I thought were true from the start. Another sign of giving second chances. Another indication of hurting myself the second time around. But one lesson I gained: Giving second chances is giving a chance to those people who deceived you, to prove themselves, to prove their worth in your life, and to prove that they deserve you and you deserve them.

my own obituary

Obituary

Born on May 20, 1989 in Daraga, Albay, Jeflyn Conces Marie Jaymalin Aluad started her Speech and Broadcast Communication education at the University of the Philippines Baguio, Baguio City. After graduation, she considered Speech Pathology courses in the University of the Philippines Manila. After completing her graduate education, she started working as a field reporter in ABS-CBN. Two years later, she was assigned as ABS-CBN’s official news reporter in Saudi Arabia.

In 2018, she founded the iSpeak orphanage for children, especially those with speech defects, in collaboration with Bantay Bata 163. She was a dedicated Speech Pathologist by treating the speech impaired children in the said orphanage.

On Sunday, 16^th of July 2034, she passed away at the age of 45, after following a courageous battle with her flight to Indonesia. She was supposed to cover a news event about the famine experienced by some Filipinos in the said place and at the same time help give some goods from ABS-CBN and from the country itself. Unfortunately, the plane she was into crashed before it landed in Indonesia.

Her remains lie in Greenhills Christian Fellowship Chapel, Ortigas. She will be facing the Great Creator on the 25^th of July 2034, 2:00 P.M., in the same chapel. Interment will follow in Eternal Gardens at 3:00 P.M.

All invited friends may pay their respect by adding condolence messages.

More Than Just Talking

Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl

More than Just Talking

Communication. It’s not such a simple thing, is it? Besides the complications created by our sinful tendencies and the differences between men and women, we have to deal with wrong phone numbers!

Even the best relationships have their “cheese pizza” moments. These are the times when instead of talking to each other, we talk past each other; times when we’re so easily offended that we spend our time arguing over the offense instead of the real issue; moments when we’re so focused on ourselves that we forget that hearing isn’t the same as listening.

A lot of people assume that since they know how to talk, they must know how to communicate. If only it were that easy…

Why weren’t we? Because communication is more than just speaking; it’s listening. And it’s more than just listening; it’s understanding and properly responding to what we’ve heard. Clear communication occurs when two people know not only what to say, but when and how to say it.

Many couples assume that since they talk a lot and have romantic feelings for each other, they’re communicating well. That isn’t necessarily true. It’s possible to exchange thousands of words with people and never learn what they believe or value or feel. It’s possible to fall in love with what you imagine someone is like, yet never see him or her for who they really are.

The most important thing your lips can do right now isn’t kissing; it’s communicating.

conflict

Conflict. It’s a profound term. It is inevitable in a relationship. On one hand, undeniably, some conflicts may lead to relationship’s breakdown. On the other hand, it is not a bad thing; it helps the persons involved grow. It helps the relationship become deeper. The relationship is strengthened.

Having read the book Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris, I realized that one’s goal is not to steer clear of conflict but to learn and discover how to resolve it in a God’s way. Here are ten tips written by Gary and Betsy Ricucci in Love That Lasts, which can help us when we’re experiencing conflict in any of our interpersonal relationship:

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person (Proverbs 11:9).

2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don’t use speech that could offend or spark an argument (Proverbs 15:1).

3. Don’t exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25).

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn’t the goal—you want to get things resolved (Romans 12:17-21).

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19).

7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin (Ephesians 4:26).

8. Don’t hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don’t hold grudge (Luke 17:3-4).

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14:19).

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!

whatever.

I wrote this sentiment when I was feeling so down, depressed, and rejected. I couldn’t bear talking to any of my friends because they were part of this emotion. They were part of my frustrations. But then I realized, they are not what I thought they were. Though some were not real (for God’s sake), others remained as strong, as true, as supportive as they were. Others stayed; others left.

26.02.08

Why do people always leave? Why don’t they love me back? These falling tears are part of my frustrations, part of the self that I never wanted to meet, part of the self that I wanted to refuse and I wanted to die.

I am dead today – dead from all the emotions that I should feel, expect for extreme feeling of emptiness and loneliness inside me. I am a nobody in everybody’s eyes. I am someone whom they want when they just need something from me.

I am always loving in silence.

I am always loving to be hurt.

I am born to be hurt and be frustrated all the time.

I am not born to win true friends.

I am not born to gain honor.

I am born to be humiliated by other people in front of others. I am no one in this world. No one.

Why is it whenever I love someone, that someone love other someone and will eventually ignore me?

Why is loving not a word to suit my life?

Why is loving always giving chances to others who love whom you love? Why? Why not me?

Great self-realization (NOW) happened after rereading this. I am the one who was rejecting myself. I am the one who was frustrating myself. I just felt anxious that time. I felt that I have no world, my own world. These people never walked away from me; they did not leave me. I was the one who moved away from them. I was the one who created my own ghost. I was my own villain.

I am not psychotic or a psychopath or lunatic. It’s just that I am facing myself in a different manner, a manner which I can’t even handle correctly. I am moving myself in a behavior that I can’t grip.

People whom I thought were part of my pseudo-frustrations before, deserve an apology from me. I’m so sorry. I never thought I would blame you for my (I assumed I have) ill-fated life. You are not part of my disappointments. You are not my frustration per se. You made me stronger. You are part of what and who I am now.

I need to move on with what I really am, with who I really am. I need to face me. I need to face “I”. I am not doomed. Life doesn’t fuck me at all. I guess, I just have to start all over again and face all life’s challenges in the right way for the right reasons.

=Hindi lahat ng bagay kailangang pagbigyan ng daan upang dumaloy ang luha. Minsan, kailangang buksan ang mga mata sa pagbuhos ng mga naipong luha sa paghanap ng mga kasagutan sa hindi mo maipaliwanag na mga katanungan.

I can’t remember when exactly I wrote this. All I can remember is that I was bitter with someone and with life itself.

Wait, why was I so bitter before? Shit. Realize… Realizing… Realized. I got it. I knew it. I can laugh it off now.

the classics.

When I read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet during my Third Year high school days, I was so bored. When I reread it again last year, I realized it wasn’t boring at all. I felt like Juliet waiting for my own Romeo to come and die for me and then we will give up our ghost together. Since then, I enjoyed reading classical novels.

Julius Caesar, another Shakespearian novel, is my recent read-this-book-again obsession. These are my favorite lines from the novel:

• (Brutus) Be not deceived. If I have veiled my look I turn the trouble of my countenance merely upon myself.

• (Cassius) Men are sometimes masters of their fates.

• (Brutus) The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

• (Calpurnia) When beggars die there are no comets seen, the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.

• (Caesar) Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me the most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.

• (Caesar) Cannot is false, and that I dare not, falser.

• (Brutus) When love begins to sicken and decay it useth an enforced ceremony. There are no tricks in plain and simple faith.

(Brutus) There is tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. [è I love this line. In One Tree Hill, Haley delivered this line as part of her valedictorian speech. After saying the phrase, leads on to fortune, she felt she was about to give birth- really, a fortune.]

Beyond Freedom and Dignity

Beyond Dignity and Freedom

In 1971, Burrhus Frederick Skinner has made his important works and one of his books is Beyond Dignity and Freedom. In this book, he controversially advocated mass conditioning as a means of control.

SUMMARY

Skinner first discussed the technology of behavior. He postulates that we need a technology of behavior; that behavior is not recognized as a subject in its own right. But it is, however, still attributed to human nature, and there is an extensive “psychology of individual differences.” He further argues that we play from strength, and our strength is science and technology. In short, we need to make vast change in human behavior, and we cannot make them with the help of nothing more than physics or biology, no matter how hard we try.

Men are not possessed by demons but human behavior is still commonly attributed to in-dwelling agents. Almost everyone attributes human behavior to intentions, purposes, aims, and goals. Inner man is the center from which behavior emanates. He is autonomous, meaning miraculous. The inner man serves to explain only things we are not yet able to explain. His existence depends upon our ignorance, and he naturally loses status as we come to know more about behavior. The inner man is created in the image of the outer. In contrast, the outer man’s behavior is to be explained and could be very much like the inner man whose behavior is said to explain it.

Skinner also mentioned stimulus-response. Stimulus is the triggering action of the environment while response is the effect on an organism. Hence, stimulus plus response equals reflex. A person is responsible for his behavior, not only in the sense that he may be justly blamed or punished when he behaves badly, but also in the sense that he is given credit and admired for his achievements. Freedom, dignity, and value are major issues and unfortunately they become more crucial as the power of a technology of behavior becomes more nearly commensurate with the problems to be solved.

FREEDOM

Freedom is sometimes defined as a lack of resistance or restraint. A kind of freedom is achieved by the relatively simple forms of behavior called reflexes. The literature of freedom does not impart a philosophy of freedom; it induces people to act. It prescribes modes of action- how controlling power may be weakened or destroyed. Freedom is the absence of aversive control. Those who manipulate human behavior are said to be evil men, bent on exploitation. Control is clearly the opposite of freedom. The problem now is to free men, not from control but from certain kinds of control. For men to be free, we must redesign the environment. Freedom is a possession.

DIGNITY

The literature of dignity is a preserving due credit. We recognize a person’s dignity or worth when we give him credit for what he has done. The amount we give is inversely proportional to the conspicuousness of the causes of his behaviors. If we do not know why a person acts as he does, we attribute his behavior to him.

PUNISHMENTS

Punishment is designed to remove awkward behavior, dangerous, or otherwise unwanted behavior from a repertoire on the assumption that a person who has been punished is less likely to behave in the same way again. Punished behavior is likely to reappear after the punitive contingencies are withdrawn.

ALTERNATIVES TO PUNISHMENT

There are five alternatives to punishment:

1. Permisiveness. It is not a policy, rather it is the abandonment of policy. To refuse to control is to leave control not to the person himself, but to other parts of the social and nonsocial environments.
2. The Controller as Midwife. One person helps another give birth to behavior
3. Guidance. Behavior may be “activated”. It is only effective to the extent that control is exerted.
4. Building Dependence on Things. Contingencies which involve things are more precise and shape more useful behavior than contingencies arranged by other people.
5. Changing Minds. To change a mind is to point to reasons why a person should behave in a given way, and the reasons are almost always consequences which are likely to be contingent on behavior.

VALUES

“Value judgments” are to raise questions not about facts but about how men feel about facts, not about what man can do but about what he ought to do. When we say that a value judgment is a matter not of fact, we are simply distinguishing between a thing and its reinforcing effect. To make a value judgment by calling something good or bad is to classify it in terms of its reinforcing effects.

THE EVOLUTION OF CULTURE

The survival of a culture is them emerges as a new value to be taken into account in addition to personal and social goods. A culture corresponds to a species. Culture shapes and maintains the behavior of those who live in it. If there is any purpose or direction in the evolution of a culture, it has to do with bringing people under the control of more and more of the consequences of their behavior.

THE DESIGN OF A CULTURE

The intentional design of a culture and the control of human behavior it implies are essential if the human species is to continue to develop. The technology of behavior emerges is ethically neutral, but when applied to the design of a culture, the survival of the culture functions as a value; but the use of science in designing culture is commonly opposed.

WHAT IS MAN?

Man is not made into a machine by analyzing his behavior in mechanical terms. Man himself may be controlled by his environment, but it is an environment which is almost wholly of his own making. Man is said to differ from the other animals mainly because he is “aware of his own existence.” He knows what he is doing; he knows that he has had a past and will have a future; he “reflects on his own nature;” he alone follows the classical injunction “know thyself.”

Burrhus Frederick Skinner is a behavioral psychologist who became famous for his work with rats using his Skinner Box, and eventually relating the results to humans. He speculates that the subject matter of human psychology is only the behavior of human being. Behaviorism asserts that consciousness is not a definite nor a usable concept. The function of behaviorist psychology is to be able to predict and to control human activity. Skinner uses the idea of global problems to justify research into and the attempt to manipulate people like pollution, food, shortages, depletion of natural resources, overpopulation, war and crime. For him, the question is how to induce man to behave properly. He also postulates that man is incapable of responsibility, self-discipline, self-determined morality and even autonomous achievement because there is no self in the first place (http://www.age-of-the-sage.org/psychology/skinner.html).

Beyond Freedom and Dignity leaves out the question: What do we mean when we say we want to be free? If we do not want to be in a society that punishes us for doing what we want to do, then we must let go of aversive stimuli. Instead, we must use reinforcers to control our society and human’s behavior. Simultaneously, if we pick the precise reinforcers, humans will feel free for we can do whatever we feel we want. As for dignity, it is believed that we gain dignity whenever our reinforcement led us to good behavioral patterns. In contrast, I feel that there is no absolute freedom and dignity in our society today. Freedom and dignity is out of control and muddled.