Kung papipiliin ka...

Kung papipiliin ka, ano’ng pipiliin mo? Ang maging makasarili, o ang makitang ang kaligayahan mo ay hawak na ng iba? Kung hindi ka talagang makasarili, mahirap ngang pumili. Malamang ayaw mong makasakit ng iba; mas pipiliin mong masaktan ka kaysa iba ang masasaktan; mas pipiliin mo ang kapakanan ng iba bago ang sarili mong interes. Ngunit kung ikaw ang taong sadyang makasarili, malamang sa malamang, ayaw mong nauunahan ka ng iba. Ayaw mong nasasapawan ka ng iba. Ayaw mong Makita na nasa iba na ang pinanghahawakan mong kaligayahan. Ayaw mong nasasaktan. Makasakit ka na ng iba, huwag lang ang sagrado mong sarili.

Kung papipiliin kita, saan ka pupunta? Sa nakaraang nagdulot ng pait, lungkot at ligaya, o sa kasalukuyan sa dapat mong pahalagahan at paglaanan ng pansin sapagkat ito ang mundo mo ngayon? Mahirap pumili lalo pa’t kung pareho itong may dulot ng iyong kaligayahan.

Kung babalikan mo ang nakaraan, marami kang mararamdaman—mga emosyong nakakabit sa mga bagay na nangyari sa buhay mo, sa mga taong dumaan sa buhay mo. Kung babalikan mo ang nakaraan, huwag mong hayaang makulong ka dito. Alalahaning tapos na ito at hindi na maibabalik pa. Kung sakali mang ibabalik mo pa at pilit na iwawaksi ng iyong damdamin ang bagay na tapos na, siguraduhing walang matatamaan, walang masasaktan sa iyong kasalukuyan.

Walang masama sa pag-alala ng nakaraan lalo na kung ito ang pinanghuhugutan mo ng ilang emosyon na pagbabasehan mo ng kasalukuyan. Ang masama lang ay kung ang pag-alala nito ay magbigay hudyat nang kagustuhang umpisahang muli ang mga bagay na tinapos na. Wala ring masama kung uumpisahan mong muli ang mga bagay na tapos na. Sabi nga nila, lahat ng bagay ay may karapatang bigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon. Ngunit kung ang pangalawang pagkakataong ito ay magdudulot ng sakit sa kasalukuyan, huwag mo nang balakin pa. Huwag kang maging makasarili. Tanggapin mo na ang nakaraan. Iwan mo na ito at hayaang magsilbing aral. Sa pag-iwan sa nakaraan, hindi ka magiging mahina. Bagkus, tutulungan ka pa nitong maging malakas, matatag at magkaroon ng bukas na isipan sa pag harap sa kasalukuyan.

Kung ang bibigyang-pansin at pahahalagahan mo naman ay ang kasalukuyan, paniindigan mo ito. Hindi mo magagawa ang mga bagay na gusto mo kung wala kang pakialam sa iyong kasalukuyan. Ito ang mundong ginagalawan mo ngayon. Huwag mong hayaang tumigil; huwag mong tangkaing itigil. Dahil pag ginawa mo, maraming bagay ang posibleng mawala sayo. Marahil hindi biglaang mawawala, kundi unti-unting mawawala, unti-unting lilisan ng hindi mo namamalayan. Tipong mararamdaman mo kung gaano kasakit ang paglisan ng mga ito, kung gaano kasakit ang mag-isa sa panahong kailangan mo ng iba, at kung gaano kasakit ang makitang wala na ang pinanghahawakan mong kaligayahan dahil ito ay nasa kamay na ng iba.

Masayang mabuhay sa kasalukuyan. Marami kang matutuklasang bagay hindi lamang sa sarili mo kundi sa mundo na rin mismo. Maraming pagsubok. Maaari kang sumaya ng lubusan ngunit maaari ka ring masaktan ng hindi inaasahan. Sa mga pagsubok na ito, marami kang matututunan—ang maging matapang sa pagharap ng mga ito, ang maging matatag sa paglulutas nito, at maging mapagtanggap sa kung ano man ang kahihinatnan nito. Tutulungan ka pang maging mas matibay sa pagharap samga darating pang pagsubok.

Sumabay ka lang sa daloy ng kasalukuyan. Walang mawawala sayo. Paganahin mo lang ang iyong isipan. Pahalagahan mo lang ang iyong pinaninindigan at panindigan mo ang iyong pinahahalagahan. Tanggapin mo ang mga dumarating—bagay, tao, pagsubok. Hindi maiiwasang may bago. Maging rasyonal ka lang sa gagawing desisyon at sa pagtanggap. Huwag pabugso-bugso. Hawak mo ang iyong oras ngunit hindi mo ito kontrolado. O maaaring hindi mo man hawak ang iyong oras, ngunit ikaw ang kumukontrol dito, bawat segundo, bawat minuto.

© 240708

1:45 pm

UP Baguio Library

jcmja™_

i am normal.

I am normal.

Thanks to SC185. It made me realize that my all-I-know-is-that-I’m-abnormal feeling is normal. I do not easily respond to the words other people give me. It takes time for me to process these words. I have to be this way because I don’t want to hurt others by impulsively saying the thoughts in my head. Since communication is irreversible, it is difficult just to throw out the words from your mouth without analyzing and selecting them. I also have to choose proper expressions and proper prosody. These are the reasons why I get on other people’s nerves. They think I’m slow. I’m not. I just want to be cautious of what others might feel regarding the things I will say.

to someone...

I really don’t know what’s going on with me. I think I’ve been going crazy. Or maybe I’m just turning green. Or maybe just stupid or weak. I’ve been living in the present but someone has been living in his past that’s why I find this present hard to deal with. Past is past; you can never take it back unless you want to live in it, to bring it to your present. But what the heck? What’s the point of considering the past if you are totally aware of you’re here-and-now? If you are really happy with what and whom you are with in your present? This is why sometimes I feel that life sucks and it fucks us all. Some people do not play fair. I mean, it’s all about fairness. Be fair with someone whom you are with in the present. Never dare to pursue your present if you were just triggered by some emotions in the past. Live in the present. Live the present with your present. Move on with your present life; let go of the past and learn from it.

I know you are not a past-oriented person. You always tell me to be aware of here-and-now. Well, this is my here-and-now. You are my here-and-now. We are our here-and-now. Now, please stand by your words. Please deal with it. I wouldn’t be living with this here-and-now thing if it were not because of you; if you never told me to do so.

i become an optimist.

* I was in the mood to be positive despite all the negative thoughts I have. Too many things are dashing in my mind. Too many words to tell. Too much tears to fall. But it only takes pieces of paper and a pen to write everything you feel to cover the heart’s hole.

In 18 years of living, I can’t deny that I lived with pain, hatred and frustrations. I never saw life as a positive experience. I treated it as ill-fated. I had my own wu wei.

Entering my 19^th year in this complicated world, I recognized so many things. I realized so many things as well. I never was an optimist. I was a pessimist. I never had the guts to care. I was apathetic. I, in no way valued significant things. I never expected that that was the kind of life I had lived with. I mean, that was stupid. Who would live like that? Yeah, I did but hell no now! Life is wonderful. It is beautiful. Life is such a great experience. Some may say it’s ridiculous. I can’t totally blame them. Everything in this world is relative. We have different views. We have diverse ways of facing life itself. How to handle it depends on the needs to be satisfied, dreams to be fulfilled, and goals to be attained. I may have written contradicting statements before that life sucks and it fools us. Yes, it sometimes does. One’s view of life is dependent on what one feels at a particular moment. But come on! Look into the brighter side. Life is a process—an exciting process. Nothing will be taken against us if we live as optimists.

Paradoxes of Our Time

The paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, bur narrower view points.

We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more medicine, but less wellness.

We have more experts, yet more problems.

We drink too much, spend too recklessly, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, watch TV too much, stay up too late and get too tired... while we smile too little, laugh too little, hug too little, read too little, and pray too little.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much and listen too little.

We love too seldom, and hate more often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We have more food, but less appeasement.

We build more computers to hold more information that we print on more paper than ever before. But we communicate less and connect less.

We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestions, tall men, and short character, steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but not domestic warfare, more leisure, but less fun, more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce, of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers and throw away morality.

We have pills to grow hair, pills to stop allergies, pills to lose weight and pills to help sex. And we have parents who wonder why their children pop pills.

We have health Maintenance Organizations that don't help the healthy maintain their health but tell the sickly what doctors they can't see.

It is time when there is more in the show window and less in the stockroom.

Now, it is a time for us to realize our guilt?

facts.about.moi.

i LOVE:
bitching around. haha!
ice cream.
pink.
violet.
silver stuff.
sponge cola.
hale.
bloomfields.
radiohead.
SWITCHFOOT.
FALL OUT BOY.
incubus.
ONE TREE HILL. grabe.
chad.chad.chad.
walking.
nature gazing.
SLEEPING!
making non sense things. haha!

i HATE:
posers. haha.
slacker! (ako ba yun?)
pinhead. as in stupid people like ____. haha! (fill in the blank na lang!)
someone who boasts around pero wala naman talagang ipagmamalaki! damn.
someone who hates me--- i pity you.

The Art Of Loving.

Erich Fromm’s profound idea of love in his book, The Art of Loving, influences me a lot. Love, according to him, is a process. It is also an art. It is the most fundamental passion, force which keeps the human race together. Failure to achieve love means insanity, destruction. And that without love, humanity could not exist for a day.

Here are some of his philosophical thoughts:

“Love is an activity, not a passive effect; it is ‘standing in,’ not a ‘falling for.’ It is giving, not receiving.”

“Love is the union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity. Love is an active power in man…separate him from his fellow men, which unites him with others; makes him overcome the sense of isolation and separateness, yet it permits him to be himself, to retain his integrity.”

"Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other from the center of their existence, hence if each one of them experiences himself from the center of his existence. Only in this 'central experience' is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis of love. Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; eve whether there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence, that they are one with each other by being one with themselves, rather than by fleeing from themselves. There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationship, and the aliveness and strength in each person concerned; this is the fruit by which love is recognized."

“To love somebody is not just a strong feeling--- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever.”

Mike Mason’s The Mystery of Marriage

“Real love is always fated. It has been arranged before time. It is most meticulously prepared of coincidences. And fate, of course, is simply a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace.”